Take out the trash day.

The level to which I am not excited about Valentines Day is phenomenal. This is because I am sad, single and alone. Woe is me. I was tempted to title this entry with some reference to the Good Charlotte song My Bloody Valentine but I would worry that people (well, person really) would think I was actually serious. Irony is dangerous like that. I'm not sure what Good Charlotte are, faux punk? Or not even attempting to be unknown emo? An important question clearly.

So I'm not sure why so much VDay negativity. I suppose it's partly because in the past it was such a rubbish holiday, there was general stress from people in 'relationships' about what to buy the other and you couldn't really 'do' anything romantic anyway because it generally involved parental transport or a bus. Now days it seems that my friends in relationships are actually doing that stuff you read about in Girlfriend. Going out for dinner, seeing a move - nothing all that incredible but unmistakably Grown Up. Which is part of why not being in a relationship gets to me - don't get me wrong I miss the snuggling (I'm not sure I can even remember how to kiss) - but it also seems another sign of how I’m actually only a kid. A kid who's going to turn 20 in less than two months.

It's not like I haven't had relationships, they're just all in the dim and distant past. The only time I ever got anything for VDay was when I was 14 and my first boyfriend sent me one of those Yahoo Greetings with loveydovey music. And I'm not entirely sure that virtual cards even count. This really is exactly what the internet doesn't need more of. I apologise to the internet gods.

So, moving on. Erm. To...

A few days ago it was a year since I went to Vietnam with GAP to teach English, which is a bit crazy. I didn't even realise because Angie was here but I go some nice messages from my friends about it. I particularly enjoyed the phrase Namaversary. Cute, huh? I feel like I've changed a lot since then. Not in ways that would be obvious to other people, but when I think about my thoughts then compared with now the change is obvious. I had a few big revelations while I was away. Firstly that I actually wasn't an incredibly bad person because of a few things I did while drunk. I think it's easy to lose perspective when you hang around with the same people. They were just silly things that my Tas friends had probably long forgotten abut but which I hadn't forgiven myself for. Of course I then managed to do other stupid drunken things.

The other thing was realising that my friends really were snobs, and me too. I think that's because we were the ‘smart’ kids who caught a bit of stupid bullying in high school and kind of responded to that by only hanging around with people 'the same' as us so a) they didn't have a go at us and b) we could feel superior. Although I’ve realised this it really hasn't made me change - I’m just as much as a snob as I was before. Not sure what to do about that. The other thing that changed was just independence stuff. I doubt I'd be here - away from home, if it wasn't for going to Vietnam.

Ok, that'll do.

West Wing viewers will know that take out the trash day is actually Friday but not on Keppel Street.