Tyre tracks across my back

Hello, once again time has passed quite without my permission and it is December. Today at work I listened to some truly awful Christmas carols while on hold (it did impress me that they change the music, or maybe it's Jingle Bells all year round?). I'm not going to talk much about moving stuff because that's pretty boring. The new house is feeling less "new" though which is good. I have been working so much that I haven't really had time to properly get to know it yet. It still smells are little like paint too. But here I am in my large "California Style" bungalow, on the route 55 tram line, Brunswick West. Do you ever stop and wonder how this (by which I mean life) happened?

I continually have these realisations about myself. I realise that's terribly self involved and teenager-ish of me but whatever (plus, I have a blog, this didn't tip you off to the fact you'd be subjected to this behaviour?). Today I was involved in a ridiculous flurry of texting on the way home. When I left work I had 7 messages in my inbox, when I got home? 18. Anyway, one of these conversations was between myself and a friend from uni, who we shall call D. D is really cool, a little bit older than me and we had a lot of classes together. We have done the meeting up for study sessions thing, the getting a beer/coffee thing and the getting quite drunk together thing (after exams). We text, email and occasionally even call. Not regularly or anything but we are in contact. The friendship context is important. So I sent her a quite amusing (I thought) message saying we should get together to commiserate over/celebrate our results. She replied pretty much immediately saying that sounded perfect, that she was working this weekend but did I want to catch up for a drink on Monday? So now, objectively I realise that that message is really very nice and friendly. However when I first got it there was this voice in my head that interpreted it as her saying "I'm clearly way too busy and important to meet up with you". Which makes NO SENSE. I hadn't even suggested we meet up this weekend so she wasn't turning me down. Plus work is a pretty valid reason given she's a waitress who often works weekend shifts. So the question is, what the hell is wrong with me?

It is perhaps worth noting that the voice I heard sound a little like queen of my little group of primary school bullies. I am relatively happy with blaming her for this. Although I'm not convinced that I was bursting with self confidence before that point, I'm pretty sure that's why I got bullied. Plus it's not like I'm a ridiculous puddle of nerves on the floor. I am a relatively functional individual... I do stuff. I just assume that people hate me/are trying to give me the brush off. I suppose it could be worse, I could be great at social stuff and never DO anything. I find those kind of people insufferable. The way my brain works is a mystery (of course it would make life very boring if it wasn't). I'm sure my insane need to plan fits in here somewhere (and if you're reading this, person who I had that conversation with you should really have let me know you're reading this when I saw you).

Okay, this is all so self obsessed I may vomit.
The take home message from this entry is you should download Old Men by Chris T - T. (I think you have to download this podcost to get that track).