Insert suitably obtuse and wanky post title here.

Is it just me or is there a totally hot cowboy style guy on the Commonwealth Bank website? He is like a smoother skinned Heath Ledger. I bet you're glad you're reading this aren't you? So I did attempt to leave the house today. Well I left and came back. I waited 30 mins for a bus to come, the whole time it was raining and freezing plus my skirt kept blowing up (I was wearing a skirt on a freezing day because we don't have a washing machine yet, hence I haven't washed my jeans recently. Too much information? Therefore I am totally going to be a typical student who brings her dirty clothes home over the holidays. Ok this bracket has got a little out of control). I took the whole thing as a sign that instead of going to a goodbye bash for a girl from work where I wouldn't know anyone I should come home and put on my ugg boots and watch Angel. I'm pretty pleased with the decision. Of course I'll never know if my soulmate was at that party and I've missed him/her now...

Sorry I keep getting distracted by Angel's brooding gaze, you know how it is.

The other day I was watching the final of Six Feet Under. There's this bit in it where Clare is lying on her bed saying that she has no idea what she wants to do with her life. It occurred to me that I've never really had that feeling. I've always had a couple of plans on the go, sometimes I wasn't sure which plan to go with but I had a plan. I had things that I wanted to do. Sure there are times when I wasn't exactly overjoyed by what I was doing but I've never seriously considered giving up on it... Anyway this is clearly a symptom of my nerdy, feel-good attitude to life. (And why, sadly, even if I had been born a few years later and despite kind of thinking My Chemical romance are ok I could never really be an emo). The concern is that sometime in the future I will have some kind of crisis about the direction of my life.

Speaking of sub-cultures, I feel like I need one. Since becoming the kind of person who buys stuff at opp-shops I have discovered this: while I don't mind the odd hippy clothing item, generally I'm all about the preppy look. I suppose this is because I've always dressed rather conservatively... One of my friend's in 'Nam, who we shall call HK was really into the preppy look. But being from London she was a little better at it and from what I can tell it was very much a statement. The whole Belle and Sebastian twee pop thing? Which we don't really have here... well there are some traces of it in the indie scene. The point of this particular ramble is as follows: I know I'm wearing a Ralph Loren shirt, a knee length skirt, flat shoes and a top that looks like part of a twin-set but I'm doing it ironically.
Ooooooh zombie cops! yay!

Ok my stomach just made a rumble that sounded like thunder so I'm going to eat (a tres exotic meal of rice, tuna, corn and parmesan cheese).

Billion year old carbon

So I'm going to try for a less confessional tone in this entry. But if you feel like complaining about this sudden avalanche of mediocre prose you should be sure to realise that I got an 83 in auto fictions, at Melbourne University no less. It's actually a quite bizarre experience to be able to make that kind of comment after all my years of chip-on-my shoulderness about going to state schools. Of course now I have the double whammy of "I got into Melbourne Uni after going to state school". Having said all this I really only think Melbourne Uni is all that great for comedic effect.

I am thinking of taking up yoga. And I have only been living in Brunswick for one week. I mostly just like the idea. It would also give me a legitimate reason to buy yoga pants. Perhaps it will help shift my extra three kilos? I'm not sure, I have a feeling it is more about aligning chakras and so forth than something as superficial as weight loss. Classes start January 10, we'll have to wait and see if I'm still enthused then.

Other things I plan to do:

Read:
Fear of Flying
The Picture of Dorian Gray
The Beauty Myth
No Logo
Lady Chatterley's Lover
+ all the books on my reading list for my lit subject (which I just tried to access and couldn't, making me feel both annoyed and like a loser)

Watch:
Casablanca
Festival
Sicko

Ok so now I've written a shopping list style entry. Oups.

Tyre tracks across my back

Hello, once again time has passed quite without my permission and it is December. Today at work I listened to some truly awful Christmas carols while on hold (it did impress me that they change the music, or maybe it's Jingle Bells all year round?). I'm not going to talk much about moving stuff because that's pretty boring. The new house is feeling less "new" though which is good. I have been working so much that I haven't really had time to properly get to know it yet. It still smells are little like paint too. But here I am in my large "California Style" bungalow, on the route 55 tram line, Brunswick West. Do you ever stop and wonder how this (by which I mean life) happened?

I continually have these realisations about myself. I realise that's terribly self involved and teenager-ish of me but whatever (plus, I have a blog, this didn't tip you off to the fact you'd be subjected to this behaviour?). Today I was involved in a ridiculous flurry of texting on the way home. When I left work I had 7 messages in my inbox, when I got home? 18. Anyway, one of these conversations was between myself and a friend from uni, who we shall call D. D is really cool, a little bit older than me and we had a lot of classes together. We have done the meeting up for study sessions thing, the getting a beer/coffee thing and the getting quite drunk together thing (after exams). We text, email and occasionally even call. Not regularly or anything but we are in contact. The friendship context is important. So I sent her a quite amusing (I thought) message saying we should get together to commiserate over/celebrate our results. She replied pretty much immediately saying that sounded perfect, that she was working this weekend but did I want to catch up for a drink on Monday? So now, objectively I realise that that message is really very nice and friendly. However when I first got it there was this voice in my head that interpreted it as her saying "I'm clearly way too busy and important to meet up with you". Which makes NO SENSE. I hadn't even suggested we meet up this weekend so she wasn't turning me down. Plus work is a pretty valid reason given she's a waitress who often works weekend shifts. So the question is, what the hell is wrong with me?

It is perhaps worth noting that the voice I heard sound a little like queen of my little group of primary school bullies. I am relatively happy with blaming her for this. Although I'm not convinced that I was bursting with self confidence before that point, I'm pretty sure that's why I got bullied. Plus it's not like I'm a ridiculous puddle of nerves on the floor. I am a relatively functional individual... I do stuff. I just assume that people hate me/are trying to give me the brush off. I suppose it could be worse, I could be great at social stuff and never DO anything. I find those kind of people insufferable. The way my brain works is a mystery (of course it would make life very boring if it wasn't). I'm sure my insane need to plan fits in here somewhere (and if you're reading this, person who I had that conversation with you should really have let me know you're reading this when I saw you).

Okay, this is all so self obsessed I may vomit.
The take home message from this entry is you should download Old Men by Chris T - T. (I think you have to download this podcost to get that track).