Life (sadly the real thing doesn't have a soundtrack by The Shins or traces of Zach Braff)

I swear my computer has a mind of its own (1). I was walking home from Borders thinking of all the things I could write. Up the steep bit of Keppel street, across the round about with the grass that even now has turned a pale unhealthy green and crackles under your feet. I had just spent a pleasant hour-ish on Lygon Street, wandering in and out of clothes shops where I couldn’t even afford the singlets. Lots of girls wearing cute sundresses today. It made me think of a really random quote. Something from the Animorphs (there is just so much useless information in my head) that the guy who liked Rachel but who wasn’t Tobias said he liked summer because of the short dresses with flowers and bright colour girls wear. So I was trying to imagine what it would be like to be a guy, checking out girls in their sundresses. I totally get the breasts thing, I mean I don’t really find them attractive, but it’s about size and that’s easy to get. I was focusing more on legs. Guys seem very into legs, and I just don’t understand why. From what I can tell it’s also about size, skinny legs are hot? I think that’s the deal. But I think curvy legs are nicer, aesthetically. I remember complaining to my mum about my legs when I was quite young, maybe 12 or 13, and she said “Don’t complain, people would kill to have legs like you”, which I found oddly fierce. Of course she is my mum and hence has to say things like this plus my legs have changed quite a bit since then anyway. I also don’t get why bums are hot either (2). When it comes to guys I like arms and faces. Anyway in the words of C.J. Cregg “We seem to have wandered of the topic”. So yes, I went to Borders which basically I see as my very own reference library. Disappointingly, last week sometime someone actually bought America (the book) which I had been reading, luckily the “Teacher’s Edition” is still there. So I sat at Gloria Jeans (yay for instore cafes) and drank their not too atrocious coffee (their iced chocolates are really gross) and read the aforementioned book as well as one about Gilmore Girls. I would pretty much never buy a book about a TV show (The Daily Show and The Colbert Report excluded of course(3)) but they make great free!reading. Free!reading being quite acceptable in Borders. Everyone has piles of (unbought) books and magazines on their tables, I think some of them are considering purchases though. So I still haven’t complained about my computer. I came into the house and T was still napping in her room so I went into my room and grabbed my laptop and came onto our veranda bit. We have an old wicker sofa that was a sofa-bed but is missing the mattress bit so when you sit down you fall into a bit of an abyss. So I sat on the sofa-abyss and turned my laptop on. Well I attempted to, of course it decided this was the time to play silly-buggers. One minute it was standing by then it was logging off and then it decided to shut down. It was very annoying because I had all this solid gold blogging material leaking out of my head as I continually pushed the off/on button (admittedly this might not have helped the process). But all is well (4) now. There is residual warmth trapped under the clear corrugated roof and sun light against red brick. I am wiggling my toes in my battered up Birkenstocks - it’s that summery. I am also listening to R.E.M. which is certainly comforting Saturday afternoon music. I’ve been listening to them a lot recently, them and the Hothouse Flowers, because I miss my dad. I’m 20 going on 13, I know. Also there’s nothing like being sick to make you miss your parents. I don’t even like the Hothouse Flowers that much, they have disturbing 80s undercurrents. There is one song of theirs called Gypsy fair which I quite like, it has a sweet line about a “bareback rider with a red head smile” . Anyway, I was supposed to work today but I called in sick. I am feeling a bit better this afternoon though which makes me feel a bit guilty. Oh well. I think I needed (what my friend Jem calls) a mental health day. I have been feeling quite down. Mostly it’s about boring stuff that I wont rehash here. But hopefully things are on the up. I have a lot of uni stuff to do still unfortunately. I have to write two pieces for creative writing. One has to be non fiction. I am having a lot of trouble coming up with something to write about. I was hopeful some blogging might help… nothing yet though. So despite feeling quite a bit better, I still feel… gluggy. I really hate my sinuses, and I think they hate me too. Also my ears keep blocking up. I was complaining about this to T and she said I should put oil in them. I was quite dismissive of this idea which I think she was annoyed by. However, I am not going to be sticking random stuff in my ears. Well that sure sounds like a good line to end on.

1. I will get back to this, I promise.
2. Male readers feel free to challenge my broad generalisations about what turns you on.
3. The difference being that America (the book) is that it is in the Humour section (along with the Chaser books) rather than the TV Show section.
4. Harry Potter 7 epilogue reference ahoy!

Expatriate

Sometimes I reuse teabags
Thin, sweat, tea and toast
Smeared with vegemite
A feast to feed nostalgia

The table was round and plastic
Keys clatter as they land
Legs burn from the stairs
The lift wasn’t working

Stripping off decency
Hot air licks against soggy skin
The sun leaks in under,
Around and through the curtains,

On the street
There are old women
Selling sickly sweet jackfruit,
Separating the flesh with wiry fingers

There are young women
Selling furled cloth,
Kitschy colors, perilously balanced,
Growing out of the dust

There are old men
Fixing punctured bike tyres
With a bowl of dirty water,
Practiced fingers and sad eyes

And I am lying on the bed

"Honey, If I had my way we'd never leave the house..."

So, there seems to have been a two month interlude. Ooups. Always best to wait until your (two) readers have given up all hope. Also best to wait until your philosophy essay is two days late and many words off finished. I was going to do real things tonight (drinking things, involving a band or two and possibly, you know, leaving the house) but T took forever texting me and I'd kind of got into a 'staying in' frame of mind. Plus the reason I am free is because they didn't need me at work, which makes it a week since I worked which makes me v. poor. So I'm concentrating on spending as little money as possible (apart on from coffee, muffins, caramel slice and too much internet quota). I haven't had the net at home for about 4 days, which really doesn't make that much difference because I can use superfast free net at uni, but it's nice to have it at home again. Mainly because watching The Daily Show in bed is just great. Anyway.

Okay, I might have to take a food interlude. I am really hungry but also really lazy. So jealous of people with mums to whip something up right now.
Had toasted bread and cheese. I think I might be ill because I'm tired all the time and also really thirsty. Whenever I'm really thirsty I think I must be getting Diabetes (because that's what happened to Stacy in the Baby Sitters Club). I'm too old to get juvenile onset diabetes surely?

Oooh it's all stormy outside, lightening, thunder etc.

Ok well, I realise this is not the most exciting return post ever but blah. I'll post the poem I wrote for my creative writing course. It got a "nice poem" comment from my (cute) tutor. Obviously this is better than "crap poem", but really "nice" ? From a creative writing tutor, surely he could have thought of another adjective? *SIGH*

Thankyou to my dear friend for reminding me that I do in fact have a blog. Where, no doubt, you have all been checking hourly and refreshing with bated breath. I am so sorry to have failed you (I am also sorry for the random changing of tenses in this entry. I am watching The Daily Show at the same time as penning this brilliance). So on Saturday night I went out with some friends which was quite fun. I was initially a little unsure about the whole thing but I'm really glad I stuck with it because it was really cool. I really do like dancing, and it was good music, salsa/funk type stuff (kind of a less marketable version of The Cat Empire). There is this voice in my head which narrates the whole thing in a David Attenborough style voice. I think this is because I once saw him narrating two birds do a mating dance which involved a lot of feather fluffing and funny head movements - which is rather similiar to dancing. I have this technique for not getting with random/gross guys which is that I pick a really cute guy and think if I don't get with him I don't get with anyone. This generally means no kissing for Clara. It is a good technique though for avoiding mistakes.

Also just as an aside (and this will probably mean nothing to those who haven't watched TDS) Jon Stewart can basically only do one accent. Luckily it works well for George Bush but really it sounds nothing like Bill Clinton. And I do hope we aren't treated to video footage of Kevin Rudd at a fast food restaurant in the upcoming election.

Anyway, I now have an Ipod which means I can now fulfull my dream of walking through the supermarket listening to Woke Up New by The Mountain Goats. It's not a big dream, but it's been mine for some time. This is because it's basically the saddest song ever and the supermarket also has an inherent sadness to it. So possibly upon leaving the supermarket I will be contemplating changing this blog background black and wearing a lot more eye makeup. Stay tuned.

P.S. Angie you should watch this Matt Damon Interview.

Back to school special

So I’m blogging (does anyone actually use that as a verb these days?) on the tres retro green striped lounge in our living room. Which means I’m actually just typing in a word document because our living room is too enclosed to get the internet. I’m watching the West Wing because I firmly believe that at any given time whatever’s on TV, re-watching West Wing will always be much more entertaining, informative and down right enjoyable. It’s also because I’m trying not to become one of those people who watches Big Brother. You see there’s only one week left and I am in the disturbing position of caring about some of the contestants.

So anyway today was first day back at uni. Well not really ‘day’ given that I had two lectures beginning at 4:15 back to back. The first was philosophy which was pretty cool. The lecturer is very much like one would expect him to be. Very softly spoken and meek, and says “anon” a lot. Next I had history which involved a quick power walk across campus. Which meant I was a little late and slipped in the back of the theatre (I was actually quite impressed that I knew which door to use and didn’t go in the front where everyone sees you and the lecturer glares at you). I was just in time to enjoy a lecture on the importance of actually reading the readings and turning up to tutorials. It was great. It did go on to other topics which was more interesting. I think the lecturer is pretty good if a bit stern, stern can be good.

So basically it was all ok although there was the staggering realisation that work is actually involved in the whole uni thing. Also the stress of not knowing which parts to write down and (in philosophy) having to choose between understanding the point and writing down the point. It was nice to see some uni people again. Particularly the cool gay guy from my American history tute last semester who was really nice and chatty who I thought didn’t actually like me very much. He’s in my creative writing lecture and said we should sit together. Yay!

So (and do note that all my paragraphs have begun with ‘so’ - just as well I’m doing creative writing this semester) even though I was only at uni for two hours I actually feel exhausted now. It’s a bit concerning as I have three hours tomorrow (starting at 9!) and probably work in the afternoon.

Smile like you mean it.

Was just watching Big Love earlier (quite a good show, I think) and clicking about on Facebook. I was replying to a comment from one of my (fiercely Christian) cousins, which was taking a while because I was distracted by the TV show. It was rather tempting to say "sorry if this is disjointed I'm distracted by the two guys who are about to kiss on this TV show I'm watching about polygamy". Would have been classic. Of course I wouldn't have said that though. Accidentally releasing the information that I'm an atheist is more than enough drama for me. And the truth is, I don't want them to not like me. If they really knew me, I don't think they would like me at all.

Not much else I feel like talking (typing) about. I spent a ridiculous amount of time in Borders today, without buying anything apart from a hot chocolate. While drinking this I finished reading the Postsecrets book. Which mostly made me feel incredibly, sad about the world, but occasionally made me feel really quite happy. I really, really, like bookshops. Unlike clothes stores I don't mind not buying anything. I like running my fingers down the spines of the books. I like the idea that there is a book somewhere about a young girl growing up in post revolution Iran, told in comic form.

I changed one of my subjects today, I'm now doing a creative writing subject. It all worked at well, because as I've previously said, I think I should give creative writing another go. It also means I no longer have a clash and will be able to work Tuesday afternoon. Plus, less reading! (Because Arts is such hard work, hehe).

Also: enrol to vote!

So I've been reading through postsecrets and feeling mopey. Things have been a bit crazy here recently. Nothing directly to do with me (of course) but it has affected me a bit - given the key players are/were staying at my house. Stupid relationship nonsense. Sadly, just because I've decided I want no part in such things I am still affected by them. I just feel unable to deal with the grown up stuff. Also what's with people not closing their doors? See, my room is at the front of the house so I have to walk through the hall past the second room and through the living room area to get to the bathroom. And I really, really don't want to witness peoples "personal moments" and I would assume that people aren't that keen for me to do so either. The whole thing grosses me out. Is it ok that is grosses me out? I think I'm just supposed to be cool with it. which is a ridiculous proposition. So, I'm taking the adult route and have been playing my TV loud (ish) tonight. Hehe the guy from Lano and Woodley is doing a Metlink add. Anyway. What with touristing people around the place and wanting to be out of the house I've been reacquainting myself with Melbourne, Carlton in particular. The newsagents on Lygon Street is really great because it's run by a Pakistani (or Indian?) family in the midst of a bajillion Italian restaurants. They are usually playing that Indian dance music (Bhangra, thanks Wikipedia) and burning incense. There are two guys who usually work there - one is really flirty (I'm always incredibly shocked when people flirt with me but I think that's what he does...) and the other one is really shy and meek. I find the place quietly amusing.

Ok then, going to risk venturing down the hall to the toilet!